How the loneliness crisis is fueling "stan culture"

Last weekend, the Super Bowl made history by being the most watched broadcast since the 1969 moon landing. 

Yes, it was quite the nail-biter of a game, but it’s unlikely that everyone tuned in to watch football. Some wanted to see Usher’s halftime show. Others were there for the commercials. But many (myself included) were there to watch Taylor Swift cheer on her boyfriend Travis Kelce during one of the most exciting games of his career. 

Since Swift and Kelce have gone public with their relationship, it’s brought to light the power of superfans and so-called “stan culture.”  While the word “stan” was once synonymous with obsessed and slightly stalkerish people — thanks to rapper Eminem coining the term in his song "Stan," about a fan who took idolizing him too far — it’s taken on a new identity in the era of social media.

Stan culture is one where superfans feel they have a sense of belonging, a community to share their interests with — like a celebrity’s music — and one where they feel closely connected to their idol. Taylor Swift has the Swifties, who clearly turned out to support Kelce’s big game in a way to support Swift. Lady Gaga has the Little Monsters. Justin Bieber’s fans are called the Beliebers. Nicki Minaj has the Barbz. And of course, Beyoncé has the BeyHive. And this phenomenon is hardly limited to the West, as any K-pop stans will tell you about their deep love for boy group BTS.

In the 1990s and early 2000s, celebrity culture was centered around tabloid gossip. Celebrities themselves had little agency over their own public narratives. But since the birth of social media, they are finally able to connect with fans more intimately and directly. This strategy makes it feel almost as if we, the public, are their friends. Conveniently, this is happening in a time when more American friendships are wilting.

According to the May 2021 American Perspectives Survey, Americans have fewer close friendships than they did in the past. They talk to their friends less often than before, and they rely less on their friends for support. Could it be that stan culture is the result of us replacing in-person friendships with the mirage of celebrity ones? In other words, are we filling the gaps with celebrities because we’re actually lonely? 

“Maybe this whole Swiftie phenomenon is in part due to the fact that COVID happened, and a lot of people weren't getting their social needs met,” said therapist Tasha Seiter. “It's so important for us to feel like we're part of a tribe, to have that kind of belonging, and when it's around someone who everyone knows about and is well-liked by a lot of different people, it makes people feel like they're not alone and like they're understood by someone.”

Seiter said it’s also possible that for many super fans, they feel so misunderstood in their daily lives that a song that relates to what they’re going through relates to them in a very different way. She added that when it comes to music, the human brain is activated in a similar way that it would be in a social situation. 

“Our brain doesn't understand recorded music, our brain hasn’t evolved quickly enough to really even process the idea of recorded music,” she said. “It thinks that what we're watching is live.”

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The same can happen while watching a video a celebrity made on social media. The way in which they talk to the camera in a snippet of a video, the way a friend would, is bound to make us feel closer to them. 

“It can really feel like we're having a conversation or we personally know these people,” she said. “Even when we've never met them before in our lives, and they have no clue who we are.” 

Prior to the pandemic, loneliness was an epidemic. But many believe the COVID-19 pandemic only worsened it. Last year, U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy released an advisory calling attention to the public health crisis of loneliness. 

Unfortunately, the treatment of loneliness is more complex than just finding more in-person friends. According to the late John Cacioppo, a researcher and author at the University of Chicago, loneliness is a “subjective experience” that results from a discrepancy between one’s actual social connections and their desired social connections. It’s a perceived gap between quality and quantity.

It also creates a “Catch-22” that’s hard to break. “Real relief from loneliness requires the cooperation of at least one other person, and yet the more chronic our loneliness becomes, the less equipped we may be to entice such cooperation,” he wrote in his book "Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection." If people don’t receive the connection they are looking for, he added, it can trigger depression, hostility, despair and impaired skills in social perception, which can lead to unhealthy attempts to mask the pain by seeking pleasure in whatever commodity, or person, is easily available. Like, perhaps, a celebrity? 

Certainly there is a dark side to stan culture. One that is obsessive and not always nice — hence the so-called “stan wars” in which celebrities themselves have had to intervene to put an end to harassment.

Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist and author of "Joy From Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend," told Salon she does see a connection between a rise in loneliness in society and stan culture. She said when people are satisfied with their internal world, and their close relationships, they are less likely to seek out “external fulfillment.”

“The more people feel isolated from themselves, isolated from their community, it becomes a vicious cycle, because they feel more isolated,” Manly said. “They tend to retract, stay in their homes and become obsessed with some things whether it's drugs, alcohol or fandom culture.” 

Manly emphasized that humans have a natural need for connection, and need it to survive. It’s critical to have people around us to connect with and feel safe. But putting the energy into connecting with a celebrity isn’t going to satisfy that need, she said. 

“No matter how talented they are, or how wonderful they are, they really can't get back to you on a one-on-one level, and that’s what humans need,” she said. “They are not able to receive the same quality of interaction as their psyche really wants.”

Keeping this in mind, and aside from the really obsessive side of stan culture, is there a downside to being a superfan, psychologically? Manly warned it can lead to maladaptive daydreaming, which is when a person excessively daydreams for hours at a time. She added that with celebrities being online all the time, at least they make it look as if they are, it can also affect how we approach our real connections. 

“In one sense, the really obsessive part leads people to believe that relationships can be available 24/7,” she said. “But that’s not how real human relationships are.”